


Need Want Have

by Weisse_Rose



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Blue Balls, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hand Jobs, Handcuffed Together, Handcuffs, Lust, Masturbation, Masturbation Interruptus, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orgasm Denial, Pining, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sexual Frustration, UST, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-09 01:16:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5520038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weisse_Rose/pseuds/Weisse_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in season 3 while Hook is pining for Emma and Zelena is wreaking havoc.<br/>Emma & Hook get handcuffed together by a curse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Killian slowly resurfaced from a deep slumber. Something was tickling his nose and he could feel a warm shape against him. He stirred and inhaled and was suddenly wide awake. _Emma_. He opened his eyes and was confronted with an unruly mop of blond hair. She was pressed snugly against him, his right arm drawn around her waist and the fingers of their right hands intertwined. Killian raised his head and dropped it again. _Ouch _.__

He looked around confusedly. They were lying on the cold floor of one of the harbour buildings. _How the hell did they get here?_ The last thing he remembered was falling asleep. Alone. In his undergarments. He looked down and saw that he was wearing his usual attire, including his long leather cloak. He fought against his instinct to just stay still and enjoy this gift he'd been given. Something was seriously wrong and the sooner they figured it out, the better. 

He sighed deeply and let go of Emma's hand. He drew his right hand back in order to sit up. Unexpectedly, Emma's hand was drawn back along with his. Emma stirred and opened her eyes, still unfocussed from sleep. Meanwhile, Killian was staring at their hands, transfixed. Some sort of bright green vine was spun around their wrists several times, effectively cuffing their hands together. 

Emma sat up suddenly, all trace of sleep gone from her eyes, replaced by alarm. 

"What the hell, Hook?" 

Killian cocked an eyebrow at her. 

"Well, it looks like we have been transported to the harbour somehow. And then there's this." He raised his right hand. Emma narrowed her eyes at the green vine. 

"What did you do?" 

"What did _I_ do? That's your first assumption? I didn't do anything, love." 

Emma jumped to her feet, which meant that Killian tumbled forward ungracefully, drawn up by his right arm. 

"Oy. Watch it, lass." 

"How did we get here?" Emma was looking around as if an answer might pop up out of the shadows. Killian got up slowly, awkwardly pushing himself up on his hook. 

"I have no idea. But I do have a suspicion who we have to thank for this." He pointedly looked at the vines connecting their wrists. Emma let out an exasperated sigh. "Zelena?"

"Who else?"

Emma narrowed her eyes. Killian could almost see her running through different options in her mind, forming a battle plan.

"Ok. Here's what we do. We find something sharp to try and cut this with", she raised her right hand in emphasis, "If that doesn't work because of some magic protection, we go to Regina for help."

She started walking in the direction of the town centre, but was brought up short when Killian made no move to follow her.

She turned around, more than annoyed with the situation already. "What?"

He grinned at her and raised his hook. "Found something sharp." He tried to wedge the hook in between the layers of vines.

Emma drew her hand back suddenly, almost resulting in a cut to her wrist. 

"Be careful with that thing!"

Killian scoffed. "I know what I'm doing, love. I've used this for a while. Please stop fidgeting."

Emma raised her hand again and held it as still as possible, looking unconvinced. Killian tried again, but the vines seemed impervious to the sharp point of his hook. 

He sighed and gestured at Emma to lead the way. "I guess Regina it is."


	2. Chapter 2

Killian groaned and bumped his head against the bathroom wall. Hard.

It was the third day since the start of their predicament and Emma had been adamant that she could not go another day without a shower. Killian, for his part, did not understand this obsession with immersing yourself in water every day. He'd gone without a bath or shower for months on end on the high seas and had been none the worse for wear. But, as always, Emma had been stubborn and here they were.

They'd gone to Regina immediately on the first day, but she had not been very helpful. She'd been able to confirm that it was indeed a magical curse. Both Regina and Emma had tried, without success, to break it with their respective magic. Regina had told them that she needed to do some research and would get back to them as soon as possible. Alas, so far she hadn't found a cure. They had intensified their search for Zelena as well, but nobody in town had spotted her yet.

Killian stared at the bathroom wall in front of him. If Zelena's goal was to drive him crazy, she had certainly succeeded. The sound that Emma had made when she stepped into the shower and the warm water hit her had been decidedly sinful. He had barely been able to suppress a groan. The thought that she was stark naked, dripping wet and _mere inches away_ from him was slowly clawing away at his sanity.

But the worst of it was that his hand was actually with her in the shower. All he needed to do was reach out and ... he balled his hand into a fist and hit his head against the wall again. _Bad form, Jones. Very bad form._

Emma had been unable to completely take off her red leather jacket and the blouse she wore underneath. They were dangling from his arm, as far away from the water as possible. He had pulled up his sleeve as well, as about half of his arm was now completely wet. Because it was in the shower. With a naked Emma Swan. _Get it together._ He was not some horny teenager enslaved to his hormones. He was a goddamn pirate and he would not be wrecked by a woman having a shower.

He looked down and groaned. _Well_ , he thought, _that was probably unavoidable_. He just hoped he could get that under control before Emma stepped out of the shower. He was pretty sure that the worst of this torture lay still ahead of him. It would happen tonight, when he would lie down to another sleepless night next to Emma Swan, no doubt thinking back to this moment. And unable to do anything about it. His good hand, his only good hand, was handcuffed to Emma. And even if he had the luxury of another usable hand, it was unthinkable to take himself in said hand while she was lying right next to him and could turn around at any moment. He would never live that down.

He groaned and hit his head against the wall again. It had been bad enough the last two days. Longing for Emma from far away, unable to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her, he'd thought that had been torture at the time. Boy, had he been wrong. Both their right hands were cuffed, meaning they could not just walk around next to each other. They bumped into one another constantly, always touching somewhere, grazing each other. It was tantalizing and infuriating and it was slowly driving him insane. And now this. He was not sure he would be able to deal with another minute of this.

 _This is bloody ridiculous_. During the endless years in Neverland, he had spent decades living a celibate live, only focussed on his revenge and nothing else. It had been surprisingly easy. During all that time, he had certainly never felt like this. Like a bow string drawn to tight. Coiled with tension, unable to find a way to release it. Every hour they spent like this, he was getting more and more frustrated. He had snapped at Emma when she had brought up the shower. He regretted it, but it had really been the last straw on his rattled nerves.

He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned his head against the wall. He took a deep breath. _You can do this. You can be a gentlemen._

He felt a slow blush creep up his cheeks as he thought back to their first time in the bathroom together. That had been an unavoidable necessity. Emma had dug up some device called an Ampesree Player or some such nonsense. It was tiny but able to emit loud noise. They had taken turns, one of them standing awkwardly to the side, eyes closed, Ampesree Player turned up to the highest noise level, while the other relieved themselves. It had felt strangely intimate, like they were an old married couple who simply did these things together.

He was going to kill Zelena. First chance he got. He tried to focus on the thought, to concentrate on revenge, but his mind was involuntarily drawn back to the sound of the running water next to him. Without meaning to, he imagined it running down Emma's body, starting at the crown of her head, running over her shoulders and bosom, down over her stomach and finally her legs. He smashed his head into the wall with force. The sound of running water stopped abruptly. 

"Everything alright out there? Did something fall down?"

"Fine. Everything's fine." He grit out between closed teeth, struggling to gain some form of composure.

"I'm coming out now."

"OK." was all he managed. He felt his arm being drawn to the side, as Emma reached for her towel and started to get dressed. He kept his eyes firmly closed, facing the wall.

"Um. I'm decent again.", he heard after what felt like a small eternity.

He turned around and saw Emma, hair still damp, with a sheepish smile on her face and he decided, right then and there, that he would torture Zelena before he killed her. A quick death was way to merciful for what she had done to him. He saw Emma's attention being diverted by something. Her eyes travelled downward and one of her eyebrows shot up. _Bollucks._ He had completely forgotten about that. He tried to angle himself facing away from her, but the damn vines made that move difficult as well.

"Um.", he said sheepishly and looked at the floor, shame reddening his face even further. He realized that Emma was trying to meet his eyes, but he kept his gaze firmly fixed to the floor and tried to will away his erection. After a moment, she completely took him by surprise, as she stepped forward and used her left hand to tilt his face upwards. Their eyes finally met and Killian drew in a sharp breath. He could see a glint of amusement and what he could only describe as mischief in her eyes. He tried desperately not to read too much into it, not to let himself dare to hope.

She surprised him again by stepping even further into his personal space, and whispering, close to his ear, "Don't be embarrassed. I would have been upset if this _hadn't_ affected you." Killian's eyes widened. Emma drew back a little, but was still unbelievably close. All it would take was a tiny move of their heads. His gaze flickered down to her lips.

"Everything alright in there?", came David's concerned voice from the door, accompanied by a loud knock, as if there was a way they could have missed his booming voice.

Emma rolled her eyes and the moment was broken. "Yes, David. We're perfectly fine.", she replied with only a hint of annoyance in her voice.

They could hear Mary Margaret's whisper from the other side of the door. "See? I told you not to disturb them." David started protesting, but apparently Mary Margaret manhandled him away from the door, as their voices were growing softer.

Killian leaned his head back against the wall and groaned. As if the situation weren't bad enough already. Now they were being chaperoned by her father. For the third time in the last couple of minutes alone, he wished a slow and painful death upon Zelena.


	3. Chapter 3

Killian closed his eyes and focussed on his breathing. He had learned several meditation techniques decades ago and was trying very hard to recall them now. It was the evening of the seventh day of their 'entanglement' and he was ready to jump out of his skin. Even now, with his eyes tightly squeezed shut, he was overwhelmed by his other senses. He could smell Emma's shampoo and the cream she had used that smelled vaguely of coconut. He could hear her soft breathing, with the faintest hint of a snore. He opened his eyes in frustration.

He knew he had it bad. Every night, he only caught a couple of hours of sleep, spending the better part of the night lying awake torturing himself thinking about Emma, unable to stop his train of thoughts from derailing in the exact same manner every time. He turned his head and looked at the source of his problems. Big mistake. Emma was lying on her side, facing him. Her features were relaxed and she looked peaceful, which was very at odds with her usual look. During the day, she always seemed to be worried about something, always moving, never at ease. He felt like he was spying on her in some way, which was silly, considering the things they had done together in the last week, but it still made him turn his head back. He stared at the ceiling, trying to think of a way out of this torture.

 _Maybe I should just poke my eyes out_ , he thought bitterly. _Probably wouldn't help matters much though_. He'd just be endlessly assaulted by visual memories of the last few days. For example that moment two days ago, when Emma had stepped out of the shower and slipped. Instinctively, he had attempted to catch her, his eyes opening automatically. They had ended up in a tangled mess on the floor, her naked body pressed against him _everywhere_. He had insisted on a shower for himself after that. A very cold shower. It had helped very little.

He groaned in frustration. Just thinking about that incident had him hard again in an instant. He took a deep breath and made a decision. He wouldn't go on like this. He couldn't go on like this. He looked to the side and tried to gauge Emma's state. She seemed to be in a deep slumber. Good. He slowly inched his hand away from where it lay next to her. Obviously, her right arm was drawn along with it, but that couldn't be helped. When he reached the hem of the sweat pants Emma had given him to wear to bed a few nights prior, he stopped and lay completely still. 

He listened intently, trying to figure out if the slow movement of her arm had disturbed her sleep. After a couple of minutes, he was satisfied that her breathing was still deep and even. He carefully lifted the pants and took himself in hand. He was unable to stop the moan of pleasure tumbling from his lips. He lifted his left arm to his face and softly bit down in the fabric to stop any further sounds from escaping.

All he wanted to do was get this over with as quickly as possible. He was already close to the edge and he was sure it wouldn't take much. But he couldn't just give himself the quick strokes he craved. The sudden, jerky movements would have woken Emma up for sure. He carefully moved his hand up and down, biting down on his left arm with more force as his arousal intensified. It took all of his remaining will power to keep the strokes slow and measured as he neared his orgasm. _Almost there_. His self control crumbled toward the end, it had just been too damn much, and he sped up his movements. Emma made a soft noise next to him and he stopped in terror, already on the edge of his release. 

Emma grumbled in her sleep and turned around, taking his arm with her. Killian gave a frustrated yell that was thankfully muffled by his left arm still covering his face. _No. No. No. No._ For a split second, he considered just drawing his arm back and finishing, he had been so damn _close_. And if she woke up, so what. During the last days, she must have seen what she was doing to him. A couple of times, he thought he had even seen arousal in her eyes at the effect she was having on him. But he had never been sure if it was real or just his damn wishful thinking playing tricks on him.

In the end, his pride, and maybe shame as well, won out by a tiny margin and he lay still, trying to control his ragged breathing. Emma would not wake up in the middle of the night to find him furiously masturbating like some horny teenager. He put his left arm down and started to take deep breaths. That calmed him a little, but it did nothing to lessen his painful state of arousal.

He faced the terrible truth. He would have to do something that was even more terrifying than the sleepless night of torture that still lay ahead of him. It was a thought almost too dreadful to contemplate, but he was left with no other options. In the morning, he would have to talk to Emma about his state and describe to her exactly what she was doing to him. And then, they would have to find some solution, because going on like this for even one more day was simply out of the question.


	4. Chapter 4

Killian was awoken from a fitful sleep by a sudden jerk to the side. This happened multiple times every night. One of them would change their sleeping position and the other would find themselves being dragged along. Killian blinked and looked around. He still wasn't used to waking up in Emma's bed. With Emma next to him. He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

It was already light out, so he decided not to try to go back to sleep. It was a pointless exercise anyway. Emma was moving around next to him, waking up slowly.

She yawned, stretched and turned to face him. When their eyes met, she smiled up at him and suddenly everything was better. They'd figure this out. Everything would be alright. He smiled back at her until he remembered his decision from the previous night and his expression changed. Emma noticed that something was up and narrowed her eyes at him.

"What's wrong?" 

He sighed again and sat up. "We need to talk." Emma must have noticed his serious tone, because she sat up as well and looked at him expectantly. 

"Um.", he said stupidly. He'd spent hours during the night thinking about how to best broach this subject, but now his mind was completely blank.

"You know there are certain ... needs we have. Like you wanting to take a shower, for example."

Emma nodded, clearly unsure where this was going.

"See, there is something I need to do."

Emma made an impatient gesture with her hand, conveying _out with it already_.

Killian opened his mouth and closed it again. He could feel a blush spreading from his cheeks to the top of his ears, but there was nothing for it. He had to talk to her or go insane. 

"I'm sure you noticed the effect these last few days together have had on me, love."

Emma cocked an eyebrow at him but didn't say anything. Killian gave her a pleading look which said _are you really going to make me say it?_ Her expression didn't change and Killian sighed. Of course she was going to make him say it.

"Our enforced closeness has led to an ...um ... surge in my libido. And, things being as they are, I've been unable to ... um ... take care of it, so to speak."

There. His face was burning and he had not dared to meet her eyes during their brief exchange, but at least it was out.

He looked up, dreading what he would see. Instead of the ridicule he'd been expecting, he saw that expression again which had been haunting him during the last week, only much more intense. It was a lustful, mischievous look and it went straight to his crotch. Emma looked down and licked her lips and Killian stopped breathing for a moment.

"Can I watch?" The words were barely above a whisper and Killian was sure he must have misheard her. Heat was pooling in his belly and moving rapidly downwards.

"What?", he managed to croak.

"Can I watch you ... take care of it, so to speak?" She smiled at him, her pupils blown wide. Killian's mouth dropped open. This woman would be the death of him.

"Yeah, sure.", he stammered, still completely flabbergasted.

She nodded as if she had expected that answer.

"Now?", she added, still smiling that wolfish grin of hers. 

"Are you sure?" Suddenly, Killian was nervous. This was a better outcome than he could have hoped for, still it would mark a new step in their relationship. He looked at Emma again and saw the answer to his question in her eyes.

He groaned and lay back down on the bed carefully. He was already hard and more than ready to go. He moved his hand under the sweat pants and wrapped it around his member. He stopped when he saw Emma shaking her head slowly and looked up at her questioningly.

"Not like this. I want to see you."

He groaned again and with Emma's help, he pulled down the pants to his knees. She looked at him hungrily and he twitched.

He took himself in hand again and started stroking fast, having long ago run out of patience for anything else. His breathing was ragged in an instant and he involuntarily starting jerking his hips up from the bed in time with his strokes.

"m'fraid this won't take long", he mumbled.

He heard some strange noises and realized they were coming from him, but couldn't be arsed to care. He opened his eyes. After a moment, Emma looked up and their eyes locked. What he saw there was almost enough to push him over the edge right that instant. He sped up even more, chasing his release. Suddenly, Emma put her hand down on his and he stopped moving abruptly. 

"Wait."

He was sure his frustration was clearly visible on his face and in his voice. "Emma.", he whispered.

She met his eyes and licked her lips again.

"Can I touch you?"

He cursed, but removed his hand. "Yes, love, of course, please." He managed to stop the flow of words before he started babbling like an idiot.

He tried to relax and lie still, but he was finding it very difficult. Every muscle in his body was straining and he was vibrating with unreleased tension.

Emma's first touch was feather-light and Killian started cursing again.

She was using her left, uncuffed, hand, starting with a slow rhythm that had Killian babbling within an instant. "Faster, love, please, _God_ , love, Emma, please, faster."

His hand was grabbing the bed sheet tightly and his hips had started moving again of their own accord.

She sped up and this was it, he was there, he was on the verge of exploding...

Mary Margaret's voice came from the stairs leading up to Emma's bedroom. "Guys?" 

Emma stopped moving her hand and Killian ground his teeth together in frustration. _Not again._ He looked at Emma pleadingly.

"Yes?", Emma replied to her mother softly.

"Regina is here with some news. She says you had better stop _whatever_ it is you're doing and get down here this instant." She hesitated, then added in a worried tone, "She says your lives may depend on it."

Killian pulled himself up on his elbows, her words having penetrated the haze of his lust. He was covered in sweat and still trembling slightly. He looked at Emma and she motioned for him to get up. Killian cursed and pulled his pants back up. The exercise was not made any easier by his still rock-hard erection. 

Somehow he couldn't see himself walking down the stairs like this to where his potential in-laws lived. He took a deep breath and tried to will away his erection. In his current state, he wasn't even sure he wouldn't have an embarrassing accident. In the Charming's living room. With Regina around. And Mary Margaret. And David. He groaned again. _Okay. Let's focus on David. David in a swim suit. David naked._ There. That had done the trick. It wasn't completely gone, but he thought he was at least decent enough to be seen in public.

He sighed and both of them got up together. He wondered which of the crimes of his past had earned him this fate and fervently wished he could undo it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm afraid this chapter is mostly plot, making up for the previous chapter which was mostly porn.

Emma and Killian trudged down the stairs into the large living room. Regina looked them up and down and commented, in her usual snarky tone, "Looks like I got here just in time."

Emma just glared at her.

"Not in the mood, Regina. What do you got?"

"Well, as it turns out, it is actually one of the more common curses." At the surprised, and angry, stares from both of them, she raised her hands in a defensive gesture. "She made some small modifications when casting it, which is why I couldn't identify it immediately." 

She unceremoniously dropped a large leather-bound book on the table and opened it at a marked page. 

"It's called the lover's curse. Normally, it binds the two victims with a golden band, much like a wedding ring. I have no idea why Zelena changed it to green vines."

Killian and Emma, as well as David and Mary Margaret huddled around her, trying to get a look at the book. There was one page of text and one page showing two people bound together at the wrists by a golden band.

"It's usually cast out of jealousy. Mostly on cheating spouses and whoever they're having the affair with. It binds the two lovers together with an unbreakable bond."

Emma looked thoughtful at the picture. "I don't get it. Why would I want to bind my husband to the woman he's cheating on me with?"

Regina looked uncomfortable for a moment. "Well, the curse has more effects than just the bond." She gave a pointed look in David and Mary Margaret's direction. "I think it's best for everybody involved if I discuss this privately with the two of you."

David started to protest but Mary Margaret shushed him. "We'll be at Granny's. Give as a call if you need us." Emma gave her a grateful nod. They quickly grabbed their coats and Mary Margaret's purse. David was lingering in the door for a moment, but Mary Margaret gave him a gently shove and they were gone.

Killian gulped. He had a feeling he was not going to like the next part of this conversation. "Out with it, Regina."

Regina nodded, still looking a bit embarrassed. "Well, if the lovers engage in ... um ... sexual activity while bound by the curse, it will kill them."

That shocked both of them into silence. After a moment, Emma found her speech again. "Um, okay. First off, thank you for sending my parents away for this conversation. Secondly, could you ... maybe ... be a bit more specific? Since our lives depend on it. Because this morning, there was ... um ..." Her cheeks were turning a bright shade of pink. Killian wondered dazedly how he had reached a point in his life where he was discussing his sex life with the evil queen.

Regina put her hands up again. "Please, spare me the details. The curse is actually very specific in this regard. When one of the two people bound experiences an orgasm, it will kill the other one."

Killian's knees went weak and he had to sit down on one of the chairs. The realization of how close he had come to taking Emma's life the previous night and again this morning hit him like a punch to the gut. 

Again, it was Emma who recovered first.

"Okay. Good. At least we know what's what. How do we break it?"

"The connection can only be cut with the tip of one of Cupid's arrows."

"Cupid is real?"

Regina rolled her eyes. "For the love of God, Emma. Do we have to do this _every time_ we talk about somebody you haven't met yet? Yes, Cupid is real."

"You mean there is a little chubby baby flying around somewhere, making people fall in love by shooting them with arrows?"

Regina gave Killian a look saying _can you believe this woman?_ Killian, for his part, was still recovering from his earlier shock and had only heard half of the conversation.

Regina sounded exasperated when she continued. "No, there's no 'chubby baby' flying around. He's actually a very dangerous man. He lives in the Enchanted Forest, but only the most desperate people seek him out. His arrows can make you fall in love, or to be more precise, fall in lust, with anybody or anything he chooses. There is a famous tale in which he made a man who annoyed him fall in passionate love with an oak tree." At Emma's chuckle, Regina added, "It may sound funny, but believe me, it's really not."

Emma sobered up quickly and took another look at the open page in the book. "Any other bombshells we should know about?"

"Well, over the years many people have tried to find other ways to break the curse, using dark and light magic alike, but without success. Cupid's arrow seems to be the only viable option."

Emma sighed. "We don't even have a way to open a portal to the Enchanted Forest, not to speak of finding Cupid and convincing him to help us."

For the first time in their conversation, she could see something like compassion flash across Regina's face.

"I'm afraid I can't be of much help with any of these tasks. I'll do some more research to see if we can somehow open a portal without a magic bean."

"Thank you, Regina." 

Regina gave a curt nod and was out the door in a blaze. Emma turned to Killian who was still sitting on the chair in silence.

"Well", she said and then didn't know how to continue. This was all just too weird.

Abruptly, Killian jumped up from the chair, suddenly agitated.

"Emma, if Regina had been here only a few minutes later this morning ... I ... you." He was at a loss for words.

Emma put her hand on his arm and tried to catch his eye. "You didn't know."

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself and met her stare. "That wouldn't have changed the outcome. I could have lost you. Worse, I would have been the one causing your death."

Emma noticed that he was trembling. It was very faint, he almost had it under control. 

She used her hand on his arm to draw him into a tight embrace. She could feel him go tense at first, but then he slowly relaxed and, with a sigh, rested his head on her shoulder.

"I'm here.", she mumbled into his neck, "I'm fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Less feels and more UST up ahead in the next chapter, I promise.


	6. Chapter 6

A lifetime ago, Smee had told him a tale of a magical treasure. It was supposed to contain unimaginable riches and its location was common knowledge. The only catch was that while digging it up, one should not think about a pink rhinoceros, or the magic protection spell would keep the treasure well hidden. According to Smee, countless men had tried and failed. At the time, Hook had looked down on those fools. Really, how hard could it be _not_ to think about something.

During the last three weeks, he had reached a different conclusion. It was immeasurably difficult not to think about a specific thing, especially when you're trying very, very hard not to think about it. Nowadays, he was spending the majority of his time _not_ thinking about things. For example, right now, he was busy not thinking about how the sunlight reflected in Emma's hair and made her look unnaturally gorgeous.

He was decidedly not thinking about how said hair had looked in the morning, all rumpled up from sleep, with an equally adorable sleeping beauty attached to it. He was specifically not thinking about how the morning before, he had waken up with Emma in his arms, deliciously pressed against him from head to toe. And least of all, he was thinking about the agonizing minutes he had spend standing next to a half-open shower curtain during the last weeks. 

He started to tremble slightly with the effort of not thinking and sighed. The worst of it, the very worst of it, was that he was sure that he could handle it all, were it not for one simple fact. He could handle waking up with Emma in his arms, he could handle spending every waking minute in her company, he could even handle the showers. 

What killed him was the knowledge that Emma wanted him as well. More and more often, he caught her looking at him, the desire plainly visible on her face. Sometimes it would be innocent gestures, like looking at him and licking her lips. Other times, she would look at him with barely hidden lust dancing in her eyes, her pupils blown wide. On each and every one of these occasions, his desire for her would flame up into a wild fire, burning him alive.

He took a deep breath, trying to get his emotions in check. They would get rid of this bloody curse and he would still have the knowledge that she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. That was a good thing, right? Right. Focus on that. Ending the curse. Most definitely not thinking about what was surely to follow the end of the curse.

The first thing they tried, right after Regina had left, in order to be rid of the damn vines, was Gold's shop. After all, the crocodile had all kinds of useful things hidden away there. It stood to reason that one of Cupid's arrows could lie around in one of his drawers, just waiting to be discovered by them. They had spend a whole day thoroughly searching every dusty corner of the place, without luck. Belle had offered to continue the hunt for them and they had gratefully accepted. She continued looking for anything even closely resembling an arrowhead as well as anything that might be used to open a portal. Meanwhile, they had continued on with their meagre list of options.

Their next logical move was to find out if Cupid was actually in town. All kinds of creatures had been brought here by one curse or the other, it was possible that they didn't even need to leave this realm to find him. They had spend three long days searching every part of town and the surrounding woods, talking to residents, visiting every hermit living in some corner of the forest. They could now state with certainty that Cupid was not in Storybrooke, whatever good that did them. 

Their last resort lay in the possibility that Zelena would be able to undo the curse, being the one who cast it in the first place. Unfortunately, during their long search for Cupid they had been unable to find any trace of her either. She seemed to have disappeared, apparently satisfied for the time being with the chaos she had brought to town so far. 

Killian tried to stay optimistic, but the situation was jangling his nerves. Simple things could set him off in a heart beat. For example, every time Emma's hand so much as brushed against his, which was unavoidable due to their situation, he would be reminded of what he couldn't have, being right next to him every hour of every day. There was no possibility for him to retreat and bring some order to his thoughts. She was always there, always in the back of his mind, taunting him just with her presence.

He was, by nature, a patient man. He had hunted the crocodile for centuries. He had patiently waited for his chance to escape Neverland. He had resolved, a long time ago, to give Emma the space she needed, because he knew he had it in him to wait for her and she was more than worth the wait. He'd thought at the time that it was slowly becoming too much too bear. To always be around her, without being able to touch her, to hold her, to claim her. What a fool he had been, he thought bitterly. At least, during those days, he had been able to find release in his fantasies. He was not proud of it. Being with another woman would have felt like cheating on Emma, even if they were not in any sort of relationship. So he had been left with no other refuge but his own imagination. At the time, he had thought that it was not enough, that it never satiated him. How he longed now even for the simple relief of finding release in a fantasy. 

He was trapped in a downward spiral. Every day, he was getting more and more wound up, less able to stop his mind from running wild, to stop his hand from touching her, to stop his treacherous eyes from roaming over her. Every day, he was more coiled up, his temper worsening, his arousal keeping him from thinking clearly. He felt ready to explode, like somebody had lit a fuse and he was just waiting for it to reach its end. His worsening condition scared him. He was certain that he would always have himself under control in his waking moments. After all, Emma's life was at stake. He would not fail her. Not knowingly, at least. 

He still remembered the dream from the previous night vividly. Not that he was thinking about it, of course.

_They were in his cabin aboard the Jolly Roger. Emma had just used an arrowhead to cut the vines and was looking at him with relief and something else entirely. Her gaze travelled down to his lips and Killian finally and entirely lost the iron grip he'd had on his self control. He crashed their mouths together. Something wild and primal in him howled in triumph. His hand roamed over her body, finally free of the restricting cuff, grazing over her back, her shoulders, cupping her breast, trailing down her stomach. His mouth followed suit, trailing kisses on every bit of exposed skin on her face and throat. He bit down on her neck and Emma arched against him. If he still had a shred of control left, this was where he lost it._

_Both of them clawed at each other's clothes, frantic to be rid of them as fast as possible. Killian picked her up and Emma drew her legs around his waist. She held herself up with one hand against his shoulder blades, the other roamed through his hair. Killian crashed them against the wall, panting into her neck. The whole bloody ship was swaying in perfect harmony with his thrusts. Suddenly, Emma stilled and drew back slightly to look at his face. He could read everything in her eyes, raw emotion, lust, but also so much more than just that. For the first time, her walls were down completely. Their eyes locked and he slowed down, their frantic touches turning more tender. It was perfect. It was better than every fantasy he'd ever had about her. But something in the back of his mind was screaming at him. Something was wrong, very wrong. And he was oh so tempted to ignore that voice, to finally give in and find peace, when its message suddenly came through loud and clear. Emma is in danger. Wake up. Now._

He shot awake in bed, on the verge of his release. He tried frantically to calm his breathing, to calm himself. He hadn't had a wet dream since he was a teenager, but then again he'd never denied himself for this long, especially given the constant temptation. 

It brought home to him just how much their situation was truly affecting him and how dangerous it really was. He lay awake for a long time after that, too scared to go back to sleep. Consequently, he was currently even more grumpy and frazzled than usual.

Killian shook his head, trying to draw himself out of his reverie. There was no point in dwelling on the past, he just had to make sure that from now on he was more careful. How he would do that in his sleep, he had no idea, but he would find a way. He looked over at Emma and she gave him one of her shy smiles, which hardened his resolve. He would get himself under control. They would find a way to get rid of this damn curse and be happy. Oh, and he would kill Zelena. Slowly and painfully. If they could just find the damnable witch. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first draft of this chapter included only the mention of Killian's almost wet dream, but not the dream itself. That would have been a wasted opportunity, wouldn't it?


	7. Chapter 7

Killian tried to contain his excitement and failed miserably. Emma looked over at him with her patented annoyed expression. Actually, it was number six of the twelve different annoyed expressions he'd catalogued in his mind up to this point. He was not sure if he should feel proud or concerned that number six to twelve seemed to be exclusively reserved for him. 

"Don't get your hopes up. It might be nothing."

Killian nodded, but couldn't keep the grin from his face. The last weeks been like some kind of cruel treasure hunt. They kept running from place to place, trying to find a cure, but always ended up empty-handed. Finally, this morning there had been a change in the routine. Two of Robin's Merry Men had come to the station, saying they had spotted some suspicious activity at one of the abandoned farms. They hadn't investigated too closely, but one of them said there was a woman there wearing all black, including a pointy black hat. It had to be Zelena.

Now they were on their way to investigate. Since they were bound on the right wrists, Emma was luckily still able to operate her driving machine with him next to her. Of course, it meant that his hand was dragged along for all the operations necessary to make the damn thing work, but he had gotten used to that. Maybe he should just accept his fate of becoming Emma Swan's puppet. After all, it had started even before they got glued together at the wrist.

"I am well aware of that possibility. I just cannot help but get excited at the prospect of finally being rid of this curse." He grinned and tried not to leer at her, but apparently he failed at that, too. He could see a slightly uncomfortable expression cross Emma's face.

She had always been an open book to him. Much more than she was comfortable with, at least. Their enforced closeness had only strengthened his ability to read her, giving him much more insight, as not even Emma Swan was able to keep her walls up 24 hours every day.

"What is it, love?"

His tone had changed from happy excitement to something much like weariness.

"Nothing."

She stared straight ahead at the road, clearly pretending to be absorbed in the steering of the machine. He was not fooled.

"Emma."

She sighed and gave him a quick look that even he had trouble interpreting.

"What if we can't defeat her? What if we do and it turns out she cannot undo the curse?"

That possibility had crossed his mind as well, but he had vehemently tried to ignore it. 

Her next words were very quiet, barely a whisper. ""What if we're stuck like this forever?"

"Then we'll make it work somehow." 

Emma turned to him sharply, clearly surprised by his words. 

He sighed and made a movement to rub his eyes with his hand, belatedly remembering what Emma was doing at the moment. The vehicle made a slight swerve in the road before Emma pulled her hand back and placed it once more on the steering wheel, giving him annoyed look number nine.

"Sorry", he muttered. "We will make it work if we have to. But I am certain we will find some way to break this curse, no matter what. There is always a way. And then there's always the time after the curse to look forward to." 

He gave her a bright smile which did not reach his eyes. She only continued staring at the road ahead. He could sense that there was something else bothering her. Before he could ask her about it though, she pulled the machine over to the side of the road, looking around carefully.

"I think we should walk the rest of the way, so whoever is there doesn't hear us coming."

They had to find a new way of disembarking from the vehicle, since they could hardly leave each on their respective side. Emma had gotten into the habit of climbing out on his side, which included climbing over him as well. They had done it a couple of times already in the last weeks, but today she seemed intent on keeping her distance from him as much as possible, making an effort to use every available space in order to avoid touching him. Her behaviour reinforced his fear that something else was up.

Once they entered the woods, he stopped her short by putting his hand on her wrist and simply stopping to walk. She turned around, visibly annoyed. He was too weary to even put a number on it at this point.

"Tell me, Emma."

The annoyance mixed with anger on her face. "I already told you."

"Nah, there is something else."

She shuffled around impatiently, then sighed. "I don't think now is the time."

"Now is never the time. Out with it, lass."

She hesitated, then the words came out in a rush. "I think we should spend some time apart."

" _What?_ "

"If, I mean after, we break this curse, I think we both need some space."

Killian felt a cold shiver run down his back. Of course, he thought bitterly. He really should have seen this coming. The second they were apart she would make a run for it. He was suddenly angry, but it didn't last. More than anything, he was disappointed. He'd really thought that the curse had changed things between them, that they somehow stood on even ground now. He'd been foolish.

"If that's what you want." He made no effort to hide the bitterness in his voice and Emma visibly flinched.

She nodded. "Now, can we actually go before Zelena vanishes again into thin air?"

He didn't reply, but instead started walking purposefully until he remembered that he had no idea in which direction the farm lay. Emma quickly overtook him and corrected their course.

They spend the rest of the walk in an uncomfortable silence. When they reached the edge of the forest, Emma motioned for him to stop. They hid behind one of the trees, trying to get a good look at the farm.

"Now what?" Killian grumbled, his thoughts still on their earlier conversation.

"Now we wait."

* * *

They had been sitting in the cold, wet forest for close to two hours. Killian wasn't bothered by the ice-cold breeze or the damp surroundings. He'd spent decades of his life in much worse conditions. What disturbed him was that during those long two hours, he had opened his mouth about five times in order to start a conversation with Emma and every time he had closed it again without making so much as a sound. He wasn't sure what exactly he wanted to say to her, but he felt that it was high time something was said. Just when he opened his mouth yet again, Emma jumped up next to him, drawing him along.

"I think we've waited long enough. Nothing is happening. Let's take a closer look."

"Do you think that's wise? Shouldn't we rather get some support?"

"We don't even know if there's really something going on. C'mon."

She started for the farm and Killian was forced to come along. He had a very bad feeling about their endeavour. Or maybe his mind was still troubled by Emma's confession. To be honest, he was more mad at himself than at her. How could he not have seen it coming. After all, it was what she did, what she'd always done, as long as he'd known her. He should already have known better when she chained him in the giant's castle. She hadn't trusted him then and she didn't trust him now.

It was probably his greatest weakness, he reflected. When he fell for someone, he fell hard. Maybe he should be grateful that it had happened only twice in his life. He was suddenly drawn out of his gloomy thoughts by a voice behind him.

"So nice of you two to join the party."

Cold dread crept up his spine at the sound. He barely had time to turn his head around to see a green mist enveloping them before there was only utter darkness and then nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I set out to write a fluffy USTy handcuffed together piece. I'm not sure why it went all angsty on me. I'll try to bring it back around, bear with me.
> 
> Thank you for all your lovely comments, please keep them coming!


	8. Chapter 8

Killian groaned. His head was pounding. He wondered briefly which cheap rum was to blame for his current predicament before his full memory returned. He sat up with a start, then groaned again, because the sudden movement had resulted in a stabbing pain behind his left temple. He opened his eyes and tried to focus. They were lying on a cold floor in some sort of small cell. Next to him, Emma was stirring, clearly returning to consciousness as well.

"My, my, don't you two make quite the picture."

Emma came fully awake at the words and quickly scrambled to her feet, drawing him along. Then she grabbed her head in pain he knew all too well. The Wicked Witch stood in front of their cell, smiling at them, well, wickedly.

Emma glared back at her and raised her hands. Regina had given her several magic lessons but for some reason Emma had refused further instructions while the two of them were bound. Now, her brows were knitted together in concentration.

"Don't waste your energy, saviour." Zelena spat the last word, like it was something distasteful. Emma opened her eyes and looked at her with dawning realization.

"Magic requires a high level of concentration. _Especially_ this white magic you're so fond of, needs, let's call it, a certain purification of thought." She gave a little laugh. "And your thoughts, my dear Emma, are certainly far from pure."

Killian looked at Emma in shock. He could see a faint blush forming on her cheeks. She'd clearly given up on trying to summon her magic.

"Why do you think I chained you to the pirate in the first place?" Zelena chuckled. "Although to be fair I had higher expectations from you two. I can't help but notice how you're both still alive. How very prude of you."

Emma glared at her, regaining some of her composure. "Couldn't you have found an easier way to kill us?"

"Of course, my dear, but where would have been the fun in that?" She stepped closer to the cell. "But since you do bring it up, I actually need one of you dead." She was still smiling at them. "Ingredient for an important spell, nothing you need to concern yourselves with. So, which one of you shall it be?" She looked back and forth between them. "Eeny, meeny, miny ... never mind, how about you pick?"

 _Well that's easy_ , Killian thought. "Me", he replied without hesitation.

Now it was Emma's turn to look at him in shock. He faced her, looking defiant. "I'm more than 200 years older than you, love. And you have a son."

Zelena gave a delighted giggle which reminded him of the crocodile. "How noble of you. A shame that I was only teasing. Obviously, I'll kill both of you. In time."

With that, she turned around and walked away, leaving them in their cell. Killian walked up to the bars, trying to get a better sense of their surroundings. They were in a damp stone basement. There was nothing in terms of furniture or decorations. It was bare stone walls all around and iron bars in front of them. He sighed and rested his head against the bars.

"And just when I thought things could not possibly get any worse."

Emma was still looking at him strangely, something new in her expression he could not quite place. After a moment, she shook her head and lifted her hands again as if to blast the bars with her magic. Nothing happened.

"Maybe you just need to concentrate harder?", he suggested unhelpfully. Emma glared at him, then returned her attention to the bars and closed her eyes. Several minutes passed without any occurrences.

"Have you tried focussing on something related to light magic, for example, fairies or unicorns?" He said, trying not to smirk.

She opened her eyes and glared at him with such ferocity that he was about to suggest she'd better try her glare on the bars if she really wanted to melt them.

"Have you tried shutting up and letting me think?" She almost yelled at him.

He raised his hand and hook in defence. "Hey, I am just trying to help."

"How about you stop trying to help and stop looking so damn attractive while you're at it", she snapped at him. His eyebrows shot up to almost meet his hairline. A slow grin spread over his face. He could see that Emma was furious at herself for letting that slip. 

"I will do my very best, my lady, to contain my devilishly good looks."

She turned to him, clearly about to give him a snarky retort, when he saw her face take on a calculating look. Before he knew what was happening to him, she crashed into him, backing him against the wall, her mouth on his, demanding entry. Her left hand shot up and entangled itself in his hair. With her right, she grabbed his hand and pushed it against the wall next to them, effectively pinning him. 

It was their first kiss in Neverland all over again, only a thousand times worse (better). He fought for control of the kiss and admitted defeat within seconds. Emma rocked her hips against his and he growled and reversed their positions, pinning her against the wall. She drew her legs up around him and impossibly though it was, their kiss became even more needy, even more desperate. 

Killian could feel the familiar fire ignite again, setting him aflame. Everywhere her body touched his, his skin was on fire. He could feel it down to his very core, this searing need for her. He could feel it consume him and it scared him. He pulled his head back and looked at her. Emma must have seen the worry on his face because she put her legs back on solid ground, withdrawing from him as much as the curse would allow.

"Bloody hell, Swan." Killian cursed, panting heavily. "What in the twelve realms was that?"

Emma was gasping for air as well and didn't answer him for a long time. When she looked him in the eye again, her face was still flushed and Killian felt another pang of desire shoot through him at the sight. She looked completely dishevelled, her pupils still blown wide.

"I thought it might help", she admitted sheepishly.

" _What_? Why on earth would you think that?"

She had the decency to look embarrassed. "Well, I might have been ... fantasizing. A little. About kissing you. I thought if I just did it, I could get it out of my head. Like scratching an itch."

Killian tried to get his breathing, and his emotions, back under control. "Did it help?"

Emma didn't even try to use her magic before she replied. "I think it actually made it worse."

Killian groaned and dropped his head against the stone wall. He immediately regretted the move when his earlier headache made a reappearance.

"Maybe we should just get it over with, let the bloody curse run it's course."

"What?"

He turned his head on the stone wall, meeting her eyes. 

"Enact the final part of the curse. Well, one version. I die, you get your magic back, you blast the wicked witch to Kingdom come."

Emma narrowed her eyes, looking at him as if she was trying to read his mind. 

"Where is this coming from?"

"Logic? I should think it rather preferable to both of us perishing."

"No, that's not it. Earlier as well, you were so quick to throw away your life like it was nothing. Do you have a death wish?", she challenged.

"Nah. I just have a you-being-alive-wish." He said it flippantly, but he could hear the sincerity in the words himself. _Shit_.

She stepped closer to him, suddenly very serious.

"Killian, we're going to find a solution. We're going to get out of this cell somehow. Nobody is going to die. We'll find a way get rid of this damn curse, too."

"So you can run away?" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He saw her flinch.

He almost apologized, but his stubbornness got the better of him. After all, it was true.

She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by a blast from upstairs followed by loud yelling.

"What now?", Killian asked wearily. 

Emma smiled. "That's probably the cavalry coming to our rescue." At his confused expression, she added, "I told David where we're going and what to do if we're not back by nightfall. Looks like he got a rescue party together."

"I hope you're right, love. I would sure enjoy something going our way for once." He eyed the staircase wearily, not daring to hope for a change in their luck.


	9. Chapter 9

Killian heard the noise of several people pounding down the stairs and held his breath.

The first to arrive at the bottom was David, sword drawn. Killian had never been happier to see Emma's father.

"Emma. Thank God. Are you alright?"

Emma stepped up to the bars, looking as relieved as he felt. "We're fine. What about Zelena?"

Behind David, Mary Margaret came down the stairs, armed with bow and arrow. She opened her mouth to reply, when an exited Henry ran down the stairs behind them, interrupting her.

"Regina blasted her with white magic! You should have seen it, mom! It was amazing."

"Henry. What in the world are you doing here?" She gave her parents an admonishing look. "You brought _Henry_ to fight Zelena?"

David raised his hands in a defensive gesture. It looked a little funny, seeing as he was still holding a sword. 

"We didn't bring Henry. He brought himself. He hid in the back of my pick-up."

"Don't worry, mom. I only came in when it was all over. I'm not stupid. I just had to know that you were okay."

"Yeah?", Emma challenged, "then how come you saw Regina blast the wicked witch with her magic?"

Henry looked at the floor, his enthusiasm gone. "I never said I didn't leave the car. I just watched from the outside."

"We'll have a talk about that later." Emma tried her best scolding look, but she was just so happy that Zelena was defeated and nobody got hurt in the process that it probably didn't look very convincing. 

"How about getting us out of this cell, mate", Killian chimed in, looking at David.

David looked at the lock, then at his sword, then at the lock again. Before Killian could comment, Regina strode down the stairs, clearly pleased with herself.

She took one look at them in the cell and with a wave of her hand the heavy bars were gone. She smiled like the cat that ate the canary and Emma tried very hard not to roll her eyes, because Regina really had done a good job this time.

Killian lifted their right hands. "Not to spoil the victory party, but what about this?"

Regina gave him this look she had, like he was something particularly unpleasant she had just scraped off the bottom of her shoe.

"Actually, I need to talk to the two of you about that." Looking around the room, she added, "Alone."

Killian groaned inwardly. He really didn't want to have another awkward conversation with Regina about his sex life. For that matter, he didn't want to have _any_ conversation with Regina about his sex life. He didn't want to have any conversations with anybody about his sex life. What he would _really_ like to have was a god-damn sex life.

Mary Margaret gave Emma a strange look which Killian interpreted as _we're going to have a talk about this later_ , then she led Henry up the stairs. David followed close behind, turning back once to give Killian a disapproving glare. Killian fought the urge to yell after him that he didn't chose or cause any of this, thank you very much.

Regina looked a lot less happy and a lot more sombre than just a few moment ago. This did not bode well for them.

"Zelena insists that she is unable to break the curse herself. And although most of the things that come out of her mouth are lies, I am inclined to believe her on this account."

Emma looked at him, then back at Regina. "Are you saying Cupid's Arrow is our only shot?"

Regina shook her head. "During the last days I did more research. I also enlisted Belle's help." This time Killian groaned aloud. He really didn't need any more people to be involved in this. Regina glared at him. It had a cunning resemblance to number eight on his list of Emma's patented annoyed expressions.

"I've got things to do, you know. I can't spend all day running around, trying to solve _your_ problems."

Emma lifted her hands in a placating gesture. "We are very grateful for everything you have done for us."

This seemed to calm Regina down considerably. "Well, I found some interesting information. I'm not sure it will be any help for you two though."

"Just spit it out already, woman", Killian said impatiently.

Regina gave him another look, then made a point of turning to Emma and talking to her alone. 

"This is one of the few curses that actually cannot be broken with true love's kiss."

"You're right, I fail to see how that is useful information", Killian said sarcastically. This whole thing had just been going on too long and he was reaching the end of his rope.

Regina ignored him. "However, it seems there is another way that true love can break the curse. According to several accounts, if the two lovers connected by the curse are in true love, instead of being killed, they will be set free when they have sex."

"What bloody good does that do us?", Killian almost yelled at her, then reigned in his temper. "Sorry, that was uncalled for."

There was a long awkward silence in which you could have heard a pin drop. Then Emma spoke up.

"How would you know?"

"What?", Regina said, clearly confused.

"How would one know if it's true love?", Emma said in a small voice.

Killian's head snapped around to her so quickly that there was an audible crack. His jaw dropped. Had she really just said that? She must be aware that she was not only implying that she was _in love_ with him, but that she considered that it could be, potentially, possibly, maybe, _true love_. His knees felt suddenly very wobbly and he would very much have liked to sit down.

He could see Emma's face flush a bright shade of red, but she refused to meet his eyes, staring at Regina while she waited for her answer.

Regina looked at her like she thought that Emma had lost her mind.

"What are you asking me for? I suggest you talk to your parents, after all they are the poster couple of _true love_." Killian noted, dazedly, that she pronounced the term in a way that implied that it, too, was something unpleasant she had scraped off her shoe.

"Well, that's all I got", Regina said and vanished in a purple cloud.

Killian realized that his mouth was still hanging open and closed it. He snuck a glance at Emma, who was busy looking everywhere except at him.


	10. Chapter 10

Emma fidgeted in her chair nervously. Killian knew the feeling all too well. He'd rather be anywhere else in the realm right now. Well, maybe apart from the crocodile's shop. But really, other than that, anywhere else.

Mary Margaret's brows were drawn together in confusion. She looked back and forth between Emma and Killian, trying to figure something out.

"Emma, where is this even coming from?"

"Can you just answer the question, please?"

David and Mary Margaret exchanged a glance. It was David who answered.

"I guess I just ... knew. The moment I saw the ring on her finger, I knew. It was just a feeling of ... happiness, I guess. It's difficult to describe."

Mary Margaret nodded. "It was strange. At first, he made me furious and then suddenly he didn't. I can't really pin down the exact moment it happened."

"But how did you know it was _true_ love?"

They exchanged glances again. Killian contemplated if discussing the love life of Emma's parents was a step up or down from discussion his sex life with the Evil Queen. 

Once more, it was David who answered her question.

"I guess you never know for sure. Unless you kiss and break a curse, obviously. I just knew I was in love and I had a strong feeling that your mother was not as indifferent to me as she let on and that was enough. But why this sudden interest in true love?"

Emma ignored the question. "Isn't there some way to know for sure? Like a test? One blue stripe, it's love, two blue stripes, it's true love. Something like that."

Killian looked at her and wondered if she had lost her mind. What in the realms was she talking about?

Her parents exchanged another glance, clearly having a whole conversation that the two of them were not part of. Then Mary Margaret sighed, stood up and started searching for something in the kitchen cupboards.

Emma's eyes widened. "You know I was joking, right? Don't tell me you actually have a _true love_ test? I mean, one that works, not the one from the Cosmopolitan."

David looked at her, his expression very serious.

"In the Enchanted Forest, there were certain laws. If a couple could prove that they were in true love, then no authority had the right to separate them. Of course, everybody could claim to be in true love."

"Found it!", Mary Margaret interrupted from the kitchen.

"We had a stone that when placed in the hand of true lovers would shine in a bright white light. A few weeks ago, Mary Margaret found it in the cupboard where Henry's book first appeared." Mary Margaret came over and placed a very ordinarily looking white stone on the table.

"Listen to me, Emma. This is very important. The stone was never meant for the people in love to test themselves. It was only meant to show their true love to others. The very concept of true love entails that both have accepted their love as a part of themselves that will never go away."

Emma picked up the stone and carefully weighed it in her hand.

"Can I borrow this?"

David sighed. "Of course, honey."

* * *

Ruby raised an eyebrow and gave them a sly smile. "You know this is not the kind of place you can rent by the hour, right?"

Emma's ears turned a delightful shade of pink. "Just give me the damn keys."

Ruby handed them over without any further comment, but gave them a look that said _I know what you're up to._

In the last months, _God, had it really been months?_ , since their predicament started, he had effectively moved in with the Charmings. He had seen more of them than he ever wanted to see in his life. It also meant that they didn't have anywhere to stay where they could be alone. Hence, their visit to Granny's and Ruby's subsequent comments.

Emma unlocked the door to their room and walked inside. She took a long look around and said "Cozy."

Killian sat down on the bed, which left Emma with the choice to stand awkwardly next to him or sit down as well. She choose the latter.

Killian took a deep breath, steeling himself for the conversation he was about to start. Again.

"Emma, I told you, I don't think this is a good idea."

"What do we have to lose? We can just try the stone and if it doesn't work, too bad, we'll have to go hunting for the damn arrow."

"Did you listen to anything your father said?"

Emma narrowed her eyes at him. "I think this is an exception. I mean, it's a matter of life and death. We have to be sure."

"That is exactly my point. If you are not sure, then the stone will not show you anything."

"Just stop arguing with me for once and do as I say", Emma snapped at him.

Killian sighed. There was just no arguing with this woman.

Emma took the white stone from her pocket and placed it in her right hand. Killian closed his hand over hers. Nothing happened.

Emma made a frustrated noise and opened her hand, dropping the stone. She jumped up from the bed. Killian managed to pick up the stone before he was drawn along.

He carefully put his hand on her face and turned her to face him. "I told you it wouldn't work."

His words were soft, meant to comfort.

She swatted his hand away and glared at him. There was so much sadness in her eyes that he took a step back.

Her voice was barely above a whisper. "You're right. It was a stupid idea. Obviously we're not in true love."

He smiled at her and stepped closer again, putting his hand back on her face.

"Emma Swan. You are the most infuriating, brave, loyal and caring woman I have ever met. You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You will always help others even if it means bringing harm to yourself. I love you and I accept that I will never be free from this love again for as long as I live."

Emma stared at him, wide-eyed. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, but no sound came out. Killian just continued to smiled at her and waited. There was something very much like panic in her eyes.

She started pacing the room, which obviously meant that he had to pace the room with her. It was a little funny, but he suppressed the laughter that was threatening to bubble out of him. It didn't seem like the right moment.

After a while, Emma stopped pacing, took a deep breath and addressed the wall rather than him. "When I met Neal, I was so sure this was _it_. This is the real thing. This is what it feels like to be in love and to be loved in return." She paused, taking another deep breath. "And when that fell apart I _swore_ to myself that I would never be fooled again into believing that there's bullshit like soul mates and true love and happily ever after." She finally turned, looked at him accusingly. "And then _you_ show up with your puppy dog eyes and leather coat and your damn ... _loyalty_ ... " She was talking faster and faster now, stumbling over the words. " ... and no matter what I did you always came back. And you just _got me_. Just like that. In a way that nobody else ever did. And of course I love you, you bloody pirate."

Killian closed his right hand over hers. A brilliant white light illuminated the room. Emma's eyes widened in shock. She carefully opened her hand to reveal the white stone, now brightly lit from within and pulsating like a fast heartbeat. 

Killian's smile turned wicked and it only took Emma a second to catch on. She dropped the stone again and instead intertwined their fingers. Her left hand shot up and settled on his neck, drawing him closer. Killian went more than willingly. She kissed him slowly, taking her time. He moaned and the kiss changed, turning passionate in an instant.

He drew his arms around her and turned them to deposit both of them on the bed, with him on top. He grinned down at her, placing their intertwined hands to the right and lightly pinning her left arm down with his hook. Then he kissed her properly, eliciting a moan from Emma that sent tingles down his spine. He pulled back to look at her, already panting.

"I am afraid I will be unable to worship you tonight in the way you deserve to be worshipped, milady." He leaned down again and placed kisses along her jaw and neck. Emma ground her hips up against his, which led Killian to stop his ministrations in order to draw in a sharp breath.

Emma used the opportunity to flip them and start nuzzling at his neck. Then she drew herself up, grinning down at him wickedly. Her hair was dishevelled and her pupils blown wide. She looked absolutely breath-taking.

"How about this: I will start with the worshipping and you will repay me later tonight. In great length and detail."

He just stared at her, unable to speak for the moment. He nodded and Emma gave him another wicked grin that went straight to his groin. She then proceeded to unbutton his shirt and push it to the side. While she was doing this, she sat in his lap and Killian tried very hard not to start bucking up against her. It was a close call.

Then she started placing kisses down his chest, taking a moment to lick over each nipple in turn. Killian shuddered.

"Dammit Emma, stop teasing", he growled.

Emma looked up at him, giving him a fake pout. "Let me have a little fun."

"You can have all the fun you like, lass. I'm merely warning you that I am a hair's breadth away from coming in my pants like a god-damn youth."

Judging by the mischievous glint in her eyes that that had been _exactly_ the wrong thing to say.

He closed his eyes and groaned. This woman would be the death of him.

Her kisses travelled further down and when he felt her unbuttoning his pants, he lifted his hip to help her pull them and his undergarments down to his knees. Then she started to slowly trace patterns with her hand on his inner left thigh, while placing soft kisses on his right one.

"Bloddy _hell_ , Swan."

He was shaking badly now and tried valiantly to get himself under control. It was entirely in the realm of possibilities that this would be over before she even touched him. Then she ghosted her lips over his length and this time he was unable to keep his hips from bucking up, looking for more friction. She made a disapproving noise and pinned his hips down with her left hand. 

"Have mercy on me. Please. Emma. Have mercy." He was begging now and he didn't care, he just needed relief and he needed it _now_. He opened his eyes and looked at her pleadingly.

Emma looked up and when she met his eyes, her expression softened. Then she suddenly turned to the door and cocked her head to the side. "Did you hear that?", she whispered.

Killian groaned. "Emma, love, I couldn't care less if the king's court orchestra was playing in this very hallway right now, can we please get on with this." He might have said the last part a bit louder than intended.

"Hm", Emma said and stepped off the bed. Killian begged the universe for forgiveness for his crimes and to please stop punishing him. Emma moved to the door and Killian was drawn along, trying to pull his pants up as much as possible and to keep from stumbling on the way. Emma motioned for him to hide behind the door which was fine with him. He gave her a pissed-off glare which she ignored.

She pulled the door open in one swift movement. Ruby almost fell into the room. She had the decency to look embarrassed. 

"Um. I was just wondering if you guys have everything you need? Are there enough towels?"

Emma narrowed her eyes at her and Ruby was filled with the sudden desire to be as far away as possible.

"Okay, I guess not, bye." And she practically ran down the hallway.

Emma closed the door and turned around. "Now, where were..."

Before she had a chance to complete her sentence, Killian smashed her into the door.

He growled into her ear. "I am a patient man, Emma. A very, very patient man. But I. Am. Only. Human." He emphasized each of the last four words with a thrust against her.

Emma moaned in his ear and it was almost enough to undo him. Then she flipped them around again and dropped to her knees. She pulled his still half-off pants fully down again. 

Then she looked up at him and her expression was pure sin. He could feel himself tumbling closer to the edge with every breath.

She took him into her mouth completely in one swift movement and Killian could not stop the yell that spilled from his lips. She bobbed her head up and down on him once, twice, three times and he was gone, yelling her name as he came. He had once heard somebody in this realm use the expression _coming your brains out_ and that was exactly what it felt like. It was wave after wave of pleasure going through him and he felt his knees give out, both of them tumbling to the floor.

He lay on the floor, seeing stars, trying to get his breathing back under control when he suddenly felt a sharp burning in his right wrist. Both of them turned to look and saw the green vines go up in smoke in an instant, freeing them. Emma sat up and smiled down at him, the wicked expression back on her face.

"So, ready for round two?"

He groaned and closed his eyes.

"Yeah, I think I might need a minute. Or two. Hundred. Thousand."

Emma still grinned at him. "Well, you know, I have been waiting an awfully long time as well. Would you mind terribly if I get started without you?"

He opened his eyes again and lifted himself up on one elbow, not trusting his legs enough yet to attempt to sit or even stand. 

"Depends. Can I watch?"

Emma smiled at him. It was one of her rare open and honest smiles and his heart clenched.

"I insist on it."


	11. Chapter 11

Killian woke to Emma nuzzling into his neck. He was usually a light sleeper, awoken by any small noise, but this night he'd slept like a dead man.

"Somebody made promises they didn't keep", Emma muttered into his ear, ghosting her tongue over the shell. Killian shuddered.

"I'm sorry, love. Why didn't you wake me?"

She raised her head and smiled at him. She had the most adorable bed hair and still managed to look absolutely breathtaking.

"You looked so peaceful, I just couldn't disturb you. But now that you're awake..." She emphasized her words by diving under the blankets and kissing a trail down his chest.

Killian realized that they were both still completely naked and grinned. This promised to be a great day. If he was honest with himself, a part of him had been sure that he would wake up to an empty bed. But Emma was still here, still smiling at him and he wasn't sure how he deserved this, but he swore to himself not to waste a minute of it.

"Oh no, I believe it's my turn." He flipped them quite skilfully, considering he was only using one hand. His hook lay on the bedside table, forgotten for the moment. 

Emma giggled. It was a strange, unfamiliar sound, but it was music to his ears.

"Somebody also mentioned the word _worship_ yesterday. So tell me, what exactly does that entail?", she challenged.

Killian grinned a wicked smile at her which sped up Emma's heartbeat all on its own.

He leaned down, his tongue licking up her throat, then softly at her ear, like she had done to him. It was her turn to shudder. His voice was a low grumble, filled with passion. "It means I will explore your body from head to toe with my tongue and when the moment comes that you can absolutely not take another second of it, when you are writhing beneath me with the need for _more_ , then and only then, will I release you from your suffering." His breath ghosted over her skin and Emma shuddered again. The next words were a seductive whisper. "And you should know by now, love, that I am _quite_ skilled with my tongue." For emphasis he dived in for a kiss that was _all_ tongue. It left them both breathless.

"And once we are done with that part, having fully sated your desires", he had switched sides and was now nuzzling at her neck below her left ear, "I will show you the true meaning of _ecstasy_." He raised one eyebrow and gave her such a cocky grin that she could not help but roll her eyes. 

He bent down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. Then he gave her a chaste kiss on each cheek, followed by a trail of kisses down her throat. He licked over her collarbone and Emma couldn't suppress another shudder.

"You really meant 'head to toe', didn't you?"

"Patience, milady."

He took her left arm and placed kisses down the inside, ending with a kiss on her palm and one on each fingertip. He repeated the same procedure on the other arm and noted with satisfaction that Emma's breathing had sped up considerably.

He took his time exploring her breasts, licking at one nipple while softly massaging the other breast. Emma let out a breathy moan that went straight to his groin. He switched sides and repeated the procedure, although it was a bit more challenging to cup her left breast with his right hand while his mouth was on her left breast. He was already rock hard, but he was damned if he wouldn't take his time and do this properly.

He kissed a trail downwards, while stroking his hand in small circles over her belly, slowly moving down to her thigh.

He moved on to nip at her inner thigh, lightly grazing his teeth over the sensitive skin. Emma started writhing beneath him and he grinned. Then he moved further down, placing kisses down her leg, which earned him an admonishing smack on the head.

" _Seriously_?" Her voice was wrecked. He looked up, all innocence.

"Let me have a little fun", he threw her words from last night back at her. Emma closed her eyes with a groan.

"I knew you wouldn't let that go."

He grinned and continued kissing down her leg, ending with a kiss on top of her foot. He switched to the other foot and slowly, deliberately kissed his way up again. He started to lightly stroke Emma with his hand where she wanted him most and he could see her arching of the bed a little in time with his movements. The last weeks definitely had taken their toll on her as well.

He finally reached her inner thigh and started licking and lightly biting there, when Emma suddenly begged, her voice broken "Killian. Stop teasing. Please."

He vividly remembered last night, when their roles had been reversed and smiled. He took pity on her and replaced his hand with his tongue. Emma made a guttural noise in the back of her throat that made him twitch. Soon, she started moving her hips in an increasingly erratic rhythm and he knew she was getting close. When she came, her back arched off the bed and she yelled something incomprehensible which might or might not have been his name.

He sat up then and had simply no words for what he saw. Emma was usually composed and in control of any situation. She looked wrecked now, no trace of her usual armour visible. It made him insanely happy, because it meant she trusted him enough to let him see her like this.

Emma smiled up at him and it was truly a sight to behold. He had a moment of clarity in which he understood that he was lost, body and soul, and he would never recover. He had barely survived losing Milah and he knew that he would not come back from losing Emma. All he could do was hold on to her with all his strength and hope for the best.

Some of his thoughts must have been showing on his face, because Emma's smile turned questioning. He quickly drew himself out of his introspective and smiled at her. She smiled back, a challenge in her eyes.

"I believe _somebody_ foolishly used the word _ecstasy_ earlier."

He knelt back on his heels, unashamedly allowing her a full view of his current state. He cocked his eyebrow at her again. "Ready when you are."

Her eyes roamed over his body. "Indeed." They slowly travelled back up to meet his. Her pupils were blown wide, the iris nothing more than a small sliver. His cock twitched at the sight.

She leaned over to the bedside table and retrieved some small silvery square. She opened it and produced some sort of thin, see-through fabric. When she saw his confusion, she explained, "It's to prevent pregnancy."

He almost said _why would we want to_ but bit his tongue just in time. It was a miracle Emma had not run yet, but such a proclamation would surely have her out the door in a heartbeat. Instead he nodded and she put the thing on him.

He hovered over her, suddenly uncertain, in spite of everything that had happened already. _I love you_ was on the tip of his tongue, but that, too, he bit back, certain it would not be a welcome declaration at this moment. He could only hope that it would be, some day.

He shook his head to get out of this sad reverie. Emma wanted him, wanted to be with him. That was all that mattered. Everything else they could figure out in time.

He entered her slowly, taking his time, in spite of the growing need that threatened to consume him whole. He could blame it on the last couple of weeks, but there was no reason to lie to himself. It was Emma, it had always been Emma.

He set a slow pace. Very soon, Emma started writhing beneath him. She put her hands on his ass, trying to guide him to thrust faster. He refused, keeping to his agonizingly slow rhythm. Emma made a frustrated grunt. Then she took him completely by surprise. While he was inside her, she grabbed onto his back and flipped them, so that she was on top.

She sat up and grinned down at him triumphantly.

"So bossy", Killian noted breathlessly. He tried to sound admonishing, but his voice betrayed him. It was hoarse and deep, filled with need and admiration.

Still sitting, she started moving in quick, deep jerks. He put his hand on her hip, holding on for dear life. _Obviously_ , he thought, _I should have known Emma would prefer to be on top_. 

She was setting a brutal pace, soon riding out her pleasure for a second time. When she shuddered above him, he grit his teeth together, willing himself not to tumble over the edge with her. It was a close call, but he made it. She literally collapsed on top of him and he grinned. Then, he flipped them over again and started back where he had left off.

Emma gave him a look that was equal parts exhausted and turned on. 

On the next thrust, he stayed down and whispered close to her ear. "I can't have you thinking last night's poor performance was any indication of the true extend of my stamina, now can I? When I said _ecstasy_ ", he lightly bit at the pulse point on her neck and Emma arched off the bed again, "I meant it. This will not be over before you are _fully_ sated, my love."

Emma gave him a challenging look which clearly conveyed that she didn't believe for a second he could really pull this off. What she hadn't taken into account was that if his long life had taught him anything, it was patience.

He continued to thrust, increasing the pace slowly bit by bit. Both of them were panting now, their breaths coming in ragged gasps. His body was covered in sweat from the exertion. It was heaven and hell at the same time, the pleasure mounting to a point he had previously thought impossible. Just when he thought he would be eating his words after all, because he didn't think he could possibly last another minute, Emma started moaning and wrapped her legs around him, making his thrusts even deeper. 

Her back arched of the bed in time with his thrusts and he could feel her getting closer and closer to her release. Spurred on by this hope, he tried to hold on a little longer, with the last of his self control slowly going up in flames.

Women had always told him that his voice was sexy. He used it now as a last resort. He put all of his feelings, all of his need into his voice and it came out dark and sensual, a deep grumble. "Come for me, love."

And she did, with a scream that was most definitely his name. He followed close behind, seeing stars, nearly blinded by the immensity of his pleasure. When it was over, he rolled to the side, barely avoiding collapsing on top of her as she had done earlier. They lay next to each other for a moment, calming their ragged breathing and thundering hearts.

"Wow", Emma said after a while and Killian couldn't stop the smug grin that spread over his face.

Emma saw it and frowned. "Ah crap. I threw gasoline on the already brightly burning fire of your ego." Her words were teasing but there was a hint of deep affection in them he didn't miss.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I most certainly need a shower." She got up on wobbly legs and started walking to the bathroom. He almost asked her to stay with him a little longer, but managed to bite his tongue for the third time. She turned around and must have seen something in his face, because she said, "Don't give me those puppy dog eyes. We can cuddle after I'm done." And with that she closed the door behind her.

After a moment he heard the sound of running water. He thought about joining her in the shower, but then decided that that was probably best left for another day. He was going to need at least a couple of hours to recover anyway.

He realized that he was smiling and wondered when it had again become something that he just did, rather than something he used for a specific purpose. He was hopeful for the future and it was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my hand at writing a lengthy sex scene for the first time, so any and all feedback on it will be greatly appreciated.


End file.
